Thank you to Bridget from the Rebelution forums for letting me post this. :-)
Now be honest girls-- how many of us could relate to something like this?
He likes me, better like him back.
Wear my nicest clothes, be sure to impress.
Each step I take opens my heart another crack
Till it is open and pouring out.
Then comes the bad news
-He likes someone else.
Now my heart is badly cracked.
Can I ever heal it?
I cry and wipe my tears till they're all dried up.
I grab a few strings and bind my heart up quick
Before anyone sees that I am hurting
And points, and laughs.
Now my heart has cracks, its seeping out all over
It drops on clothes and attitudes
And shows up on my face.
I laugh and flirt some more
So my broken heart won't kill me.
But it's not working, that last fling broke my heart in two.
My life has been ruined
All hope has left.
The darkness surrounds me, suffocating me
Life is empty
No meaning at all
I've tried to ignore it
But now it has caught up with me
I don't know why I was even born
Nothing matters, no one seems to care.
Life is like a vacuum, Sucking me up till I'm at the bottom
The force is strong, no one else seems to resist.
Why should I?
I cry and wish to die
To curl up in a ball
And never stand again.
But then I hear a voice
Whispering softly, gently to me
''Give it all up, my dear, I know how you feel,''
''I died for you, and I'm here to tell you that I love you.''
I sob as I listen to the voice of GOD
Then with a 'yes' and an uplifted hand
I give up all my dreams
All my hopes, all my life
All my fears and all my hurts
I give up everything that I once longed for
And realize I need something more.
I surrender my life and let HIM take control.
Then, his arms surround me so tenderly
My tears stop, replaced with joy.
I feel His love within me, so strong, it heals my heart.
My heart is better now, with only scars to remind me
Of the time when I was alone, looking in the wrong place for love.
But now I'm not alone, I've got a King for a daddy
And a Prince for a big brother.
I'll never forget how my new family rescued me
It cost so much, that GOD had to give up HIS only SON
Jesus died-for me!
I was an orphan, alone and dirty
I was dying in the gutter, until HE rescued me.
HE didn't care that I had given my heart away.
All HE asked for was my heart, my life, and my love.
I've given my heart to HIM, He'll keep it, and nourish it
Until the perfect time.
And then, with joy in HIS voice and love in HIS eyes
He'll say; ''Well done, daughter.''
And I will be able to turn and say to the love of my life
''Here, I give me heart to you, my daddy kept it until now.''
''I know you won't break it, I trust you with my life.''
''And since my daddy had my heart, I couldn't just give it away.''
''You had to ask HIM for it, and because you proved yourself worthy,''
''Here's my heart.''
But until then, O GOD
I give YOU my heart.
I surrender all to YOU.
Keep me enthralled in YOUR love
So that none other can distract.
Pick me up and twirl me around.
Give me faith to not fear.
Set my feet on higher ground
I want to reach new heights and never look back.
I want to praise YOU for who YOU are
And I will give glory to YOUR name.
I give YOU the key to my heart, and control of my thoughts.
Show me the way of purity.
I will trust YOU-
With my life, with my future
With my love, and with my heart.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Defined-
a smile: something that makes the world a better place.
modesty: tight enough to show you're a woman, loose enough to show you're a lady.
being happy: maybe everything isn't perfect- but you have chosen to see beyond the imperfections.
you: the living expression of God's kindness (how are you doing?)
love: not a fight, but something worth fighting for.
happy endings: God's specialty
beauty: the outward expression of what is in your heart; a God centered life.
life: only what's done for Christ lasts.
courage: not the absence of fear, but the determination that something else is more important than fear.
friends: people who accept us for who we are yet help us to be who we should.
fashion: a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every six months.
confidence: the ability to admit when you've screwed up.
modesty: tight enough to show you're a woman, loose enough to show you're a lady.
being happy: maybe everything isn't perfect- but you have chosen to see beyond the imperfections.
you: the living expression of God's kindness (how are you doing?)
love: not a fight, but something worth fighting for.
happy endings: God's specialty
beauty: the outward expression of what is in your heart; a God centered life.
life: only what's done for Christ lasts.
courage: not the absence of fear, but the determination that something else is more important than fear.
friends: people who accept us for who we are yet help us to be who we should.
fashion: a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every six months.
confidence: the ability to admit when you've screwed up.
Monday, July 6, 2009
every girl a princess
'There was once a little princess who-'
'But, Mr. Author, why do you always write about princesses?'
'Because every little girl is a princess.'
'You will make them vain if you tell them that.'
'Not if they understand what I mean.'
'What do you mean?'
'What do you mean by princess?'
'The daughter of a king.'
'Very well, then every little girl is a princess...'
George MacDonald,
the original beginning of "The Princess and the Goblin".
'But, Mr. Author, why do you always write about princesses?'
'Because every little girl is a princess.'
'You will make them vain if you tell them that.'
'Not if they understand what I mean.'
'What do you mean?'
'What do you mean by princess?'
'The daughter of a king.'
'Very well, then every little girl is a princess...'
George MacDonald,
the original beginning of "The Princess and the Goblin".
Friday, June 5, 2009
creating a habit
They say it takes at least 30 days to cement a habit, which is just a word meaning what you do normally without even thinking about it. I wasn't so sure that was true, because it seemed like such a long time. Then I realized what a short time it really was! It is so easy to get yourself into lazy habits- maybe habits that are not necessarily bad, but not good either. One of mine was sleeping in as late as possible (meaning as late as my 'starving' horses outside would allow) It was super easy to do, because I am more of a night person and would rather watch the sun set, and then be up for hours after that, than to get up early and see a sunrise.
However, it has become a point of self-discipline for me to wake up at 6 (or, okay, 6:30 sometimes) and start my day off well by reading a devotional, praying, and then slipping outside (usually before mom and dad, but not always) to feed those hungry horses. Why? The answer has nothing to do with liking to torture myself, though I questioned that a few times the first week! Mostly, it is to get myself in the right mindset for the day. Getting up earlier instead of curling up into the covers when light comes into the windows is actually a good thing (I found this out much to my astonishment, by the way)
So. My goal is for the rest of this year to start practicing good habits, and give them my all for at least 30 days. My understanding is that I will not have to think about them so much after that, because they will have become part of me, something I just do. At the same time, it is also a good thing to cut a bad or time-wasting habit. I think that this new one of getting up early (hey! 6 is early to ME, okay??) is going to stick. Its gotten easier over the past week. I'm not going to go so far as to promise that I'll turn into a morning person, but then again... you never know what interesting changes can occur when you begin to take charge over your habits instead of letting them take charge over you.
However, it has become a point of self-discipline for me to wake up at 6 (or, okay, 6:30 sometimes) and start my day off well by reading a devotional, praying, and then slipping outside (usually before mom and dad, but not always) to feed those hungry horses. Why? The answer has nothing to do with liking to torture myself, though I questioned that a few times the first week! Mostly, it is to get myself in the right mindset for the day. Getting up earlier instead of curling up into the covers when light comes into the windows is actually a good thing (I found this out much to my astonishment, by the way)
So. My goal is for the rest of this year to start practicing good habits, and give them my all for at least 30 days. My understanding is that I will not have to think about them so much after that, because they will have become part of me, something I just do. At the same time, it is also a good thing to cut a bad or time-wasting habit. I think that this new one of getting up early (hey! 6 is early to ME, okay??) is going to stick. Its gotten easier over the past week. I'm not going to go so far as to promise that I'll turn into a morning person, but then again... you never know what interesting changes can occur when you begin to take charge over your habits instead of letting them take charge over you.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
10 reasons why I feel old
10. We got a phone call today from some friends we hadn't heard from in awhile. They moved out of the area, but we used to do tons of things together. The 13 year old boy who incessantly teased me is now 18, married, and going to be leaving for Afghanistan in June. Aack! :-O
9. I just realized that when the little sister of some other friends turns 16 I am going to be 29.
8. My mom has a temporary job with the Census, which isn't going to last very much longer, but still- isn't it the TEENAGER who is constantly leaving and going different places??
7. I don't get into a lot of popular TV shows. They're ok..but kind of boring in comparison with a great book. I rarely watch TV. I live what Groucho Marx said: "TV is very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book."
6. I'd say in general, for the most part anyway, my parents are highly trusting of me. They know that I'm not going to go out and drink, do drugs, or get myself pregnant. That's nice of course though, because trusting parents give a lot more freedoms.
5. I have occasionally been mistaken for Dad's wife when I'm out with him and Mom isn't there. Dad of course finds this incredibly humorous, and tells me it just shows that they think he has good taste! haha... okay, so I laugh about it too. ;-)
4. I've been mistaken for a college student (we live in a college town) since about age 10 or so.
3. I love classical music.
OK, I can't think of any more. Those are surely enough though. ;-) On the other hand, I can think of many reasons why I also feel really young. Like, for instance, I love a rowdy game of freeze tag. I also find other 'little kid games' like hide and seek (especially in the dark!)a lot of fun. I'm not in any particular hurry to move out of the house and assume adult responsibilities- though this might have something to do with not knowing what will happen to my horses! I still love being with family, which according to popular consensus is not cool for a teenager. Mom was worrying about my throat this morning, which has swelled up a little and is warm to touch, she thinks I might have mono or something like that. My reaction: how unfair to have the kissing disease and never been kissed!... though since that one has been my choice maybe it doesn't belong on the list.
what else...
*I still have a lot of my collection of breyer model horses.
* some movies designed for young kids I still love- like Veggie Tales, or Spirit. And I still listen to the kids radio program Adventures in Odyssey.
*sometimes I get in the drivers seat of a car and still go, 'wow, what am I doing here??'
*being around my older brother defenitely brings out the little kid in me. We banter back and forth constantly!
... maybe it all balances out after all. :-)
9. I just realized that when the little sister of some other friends turns 16 I am going to be 29.
8. My mom has a temporary job with the Census, which isn't going to last very much longer, but still- isn't it the TEENAGER who is constantly leaving and going different places??
7. I don't get into a lot of popular TV shows. They're ok..but kind of boring in comparison with a great book. I rarely watch TV. I live what Groucho Marx said: "TV is very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book."
6. I'd say in general, for the most part anyway, my parents are highly trusting of me. They know that I'm not going to go out and drink, do drugs, or get myself pregnant. That's nice of course though, because trusting parents give a lot more freedoms.
5. I have occasionally been mistaken for Dad's wife when I'm out with him and Mom isn't there. Dad of course finds this incredibly humorous, and tells me it just shows that they think he has good taste! haha... okay, so I laugh about it too. ;-)
4. I've been mistaken for a college student (we live in a college town) since about age 10 or so.
3. I love classical music.
OK, I can't think of any more. Those are surely enough though. ;-) On the other hand, I can think of many reasons why I also feel really young. Like, for instance, I love a rowdy game of freeze tag. I also find other 'little kid games' like hide and seek (especially in the dark!)a lot of fun. I'm not in any particular hurry to move out of the house and assume adult responsibilities- though this might have something to do with not knowing what will happen to my horses! I still love being with family, which according to popular consensus is not cool for a teenager. Mom was worrying about my throat this morning, which has swelled up a little and is warm to touch, she thinks I might have mono or something like that. My reaction: how unfair to have the kissing disease and never been kissed!... though since that one has been my choice maybe it doesn't belong on the list.
what else...
*I still have a lot of my collection of breyer model horses.
* some movies designed for young kids I still love- like Veggie Tales, or Spirit. And I still listen to the kids radio program Adventures in Odyssey.
*sometimes I get in the drivers seat of a car and still go, 'wow, what am I doing here??'
*being around my older brother defenitely brings out the little kid in me. We banter back and forth constantly!
... maybe it all balances out after all. :-)
Today I am thankful for...
* sunshine!
* soft horse hair
* the colors of the world
* good friends
* prayer
* green M&M's (aka, 'happy pills'!)
* second chances
* peace
* good books
* 1 year of good health after surgery
* hugs
What's on your list today??
* soft horse hair
* the colors of the world
* good friends
* prayer
* green M&M's (aka, 'happy pills'!)
* second chances
* peace
* good books
* 1 year of good health after surgery
* hugs
What's on your list today??
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Enough
I spend time with some amazing people who I am honored to call friends. They each have something really, really special about them. They are wonderful people, and I love being with them. Occasionally though, my mind used to wander towards a me-centered attitude. No, it wasn't jealousy, not quite. I don't have a name for the feeling. Its a complicated combination- like, 'they are so ____ (talented, smart, funny, whatever)'. Then I started thinking, "hey, what can I do to get something that is special like that about me?" Then its time to start (in the figurative sense of course) hitting myself on the head with the truth that is with me, but sometimes forgotten: God is enough. He is ENOUGH. I don't have to be me, plus anything. I can just be me. He is enough. I am enough with Him. If I give myself completely over to Him, I have nothing to be worried about. There is nothing extra to do or to say or try to be.
That is not to say that there aren't responsibilities- I can think of several. Currently, I need to be faithful to God, honor my family, be there for my friends, be a faithful student, and be responsible to the tasks set before me by any of the above. But- there is no need to worry! I don't need to try to make myself into somebody different. God already is! He will work through me to make me who I am meant to be. Not who I think I 'should' be, based on people around me! And THAT is wonderful news. He is an incredible God. :-)
what is God working in you?
are you trying too hard to 'change yourself'?
That is not to say that there aren't responsibilities- I can think of several. Currently, I need to be faithful to God, honor my family, be there for my friends, be a faithful student, and be responsible to the tasks set before me by any of the above. But- there is no need to worry! I don't need to try to make myself into somebody different. God already is! He will work through me to make me who I am meant to be. Not who I think I 'should' be, based on people around me! And THAT is wonderful news. He is an incredible God. :-)
what is God working in you?
are you trying too hard to 'change yourself'?
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